(Btw, if you don't want to read about some personal stuff, feel free to skip.)

So, it was a year ago tonight that I got a phone call at around midnight. I can still remember it now. The voice on the other line said that I was a backup for a lung. If they needed me they'd be calling within the next four to five hours. They'd call me if they wanted me to come in.

After that I made a few calls. I called my friend Emily, called my parents, basicly telling them all what had happened and that there wasn't anything to do now but wait. And wait I did. I tried to sleep, but I just couldn't. I tossed and turned for a bit got online, tried to talk to people online. In the end I just kind of freaked out for about five hours.

By the time they called me back I was a bit of a wreck. I basicly told them I couldn't do it right now. I needed time to think about it all. Looking back, I am kind of glad that I told them no. I don't think I was really quite ready to go through it all back then.

My biggest mistake back then was also thinking I could face it alone. Instead of having someone come over to my place to hang out and wait with me I told everyone I'd be okay. Needless to say, I was wrong. I have also since gotten over my stubborn streak and learned that it is okay to ask for help. Thanks to all my friends out there for being so supportive.

So here's to a wish that I get the call soon. Given that I've now been on the list about a year and a quarter, my time should be coming soon. Of course, knowing my luck I'll be getting the call tonight.