213 Things

This post is a bit old, but I just read it for the first time todaytoday, thanks to welcomerain. A list of 213 Things Skippy is no Longer Allowed to do in the U.S. Army.

Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it. A couple favorites: 2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. and 191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

  1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
  2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
  3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
  4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
  5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
  6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

[Avalanche Company]

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This page contains a single entry by Gregory published on January 22, 2004 9:56 PM.

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