This post is a bit old, but I just read it for the first time todaytoday, thanks to welcomerain. A list of 213 Things Skippy is no Longer Allowed to do in the U.S. Army.
Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it. A couple favorites: 2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. and 191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
- Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
- My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
- Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
- Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
- Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
- Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.