Today I got a call from my parents that I'd been expecting for months. It seems that my grandmother most probably will not live through the week. Given that I'm trying to get moved in a little over that time it's making my parents all twitchy with that and when they will have time to move me. Strangely, I'm feeling more relieved than anything. In the past two years I've watched my grandmother slowly wither. She's lived over a year and a half longer than anyone expected after her last big surgery. The last few months there have been numerous times I've gotten a call like this, but this time it feels like it is really it. I wish her well on her journey into whatever may wait and I will miss her. I'm also relieved that my parents will be able to have some time for themselves. Since they retired they really haven't had much time for them. And while I am going to need lots of help from them in the coming year or two, my hope is that it won't be as stressful as this has been for them.
This whole experience has made me think a lot about what I want for myself if I were to be seriously ill. I've had a really hard time going to visit her when I've gone down to visit my parents because I just don't like to see someone slowly wasting away. My mom said this morning that the person from the hospice said that hearing is the last sense to go, even if the person is unresponsie. I don't think I'd want to be laying in bed being able to hear people speak and not being able to react.
