From McSweeney's, The Elements of Spam.
14. Use the active voice.
Notice how aloof the passive voice is.
Your balls are to be slurped the most by cum-starved nymphos!!!!!
Hardly persuasive. The five exclamation points feel tacked on, an attempt by an inexperienced writer to breathe life into a desiccated construction. The active voice, however, allows you to write with verve and straightforwardness.
Cum-starved nymphos will slurp your balls the most!!!!!
