{"id":3723,"date":"2003-12-04T20:46:05","date_gmt":"2003-12-04T20:46:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/?p=3723"},"modified":"2003-12-04T20:46:05","modified_gmt":"2003-12-04T20:46:05","slug":"mmmm_alcohol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/?p=3723","title":{"rendered":"Mmmm. Alcohol."},"content":{"rendered":"

From Caffeina’s<\/a> LiveJournal, Alcohoroscopes<\/a>. Here’s mine:<\/p>\n

Scorpio<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Drinking style<\/strong>
\nDon’t ever tell Scorpios they’ve had enough, for they’ll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they’re hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool — though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they’re fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything — especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.<\/p>\n

Trademark cocktails<\/strong>
\nJust as a Scorpio can look you in the eye and smile while secretly plotting your demise, so does the brandy-laced stinger’s sweet taste hide a potent amount of alcohol. If you want to get literal, serve them a scorpion — they may not love tropical drinks, but it shows you’re paying attention. Scorpio rules watermelon, so break out the blender and fix a pitcher of watermelon margaritas to seduce ’em — though red wine will do the trick just as well.<\/p>\n

Drinking buddies<\/strong>
\nTruman Capote, Hillary Clinton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster, Bill Gates, k.d. lang, Megan Mullally, Demi Moore, Sylvia Plath, RuPaul<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From Caffeina’s LiveJournal, Alcohoroscopes. Here’s mine: Scorpio Drinking style Don’t ever tell Scorpios they’ve had enough, for they’ll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they’re hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3723","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3723"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3723\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}