{"id":4708,"date":"2006-02-10T19:30:07","date_gmt":"2006-02-10T19:30:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/?p=4708"},"modified":"2006-02-10T19:30:07","modified_gmt":"2006-02-10T19:30:07","slug":"the_elements_of","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/?p=4708","title":{"rendered":"The Elements of Spam Style"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>From McSweeney&#8217;s, <a href=\"http:\/\/mcsweeneys.net\/2006\/2\/8roeder.html\">The Elements of Spam<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strong>14. Use the active voice.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><p>Notice how aloof the passive voice is.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Your balls are to be slurped the most by cum-starved nymphos!!!!!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Hardly persuasive. The five exclamation points feel tacked on, an attempt by an inexperienced writer to breathe life into a desiccated construction. The active voice, however, allows you to write with verve and straightforwardness.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Cum-starved nymphos will slurp your balls the most!!!!!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The five exclamation points feel tacked on, an attempt by an inexperienced writer to breathe life into a desiccated construction&#8230;.  Cum-starved nymphos will slurp your balls the most!!!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[139,122],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4708","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4708"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4708\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4708"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4708"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ezoons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}